Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Zipper Accidents by Uncle John’s

Author:Uncle John’s [John’s, Uncle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bathroom Readers’ Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

GENITAL WARFARE

MY OLD VIRGINNY HOME

An elderly North Carolina woman arrived at the ER saying she had green vines growing in her “virginny,” as she quaintly called it. An exam and a few X-rays confirmed her story: It was a vine, and it had sprouted…out of a potato. The woman explained that her uterus had prolapsed, or fallen out (a condition not uncommon in elderly women), so she’d popped in a potato to hold it up—and forgotten about it.

VERY BAD KITTY

A panicked woman brought her unconscious boyfriend into the ER and explained that she’d found him lying in the bathtub. Doctors noted a large lump on the man’s head…and some curious scratches on his scrotum. As they were trying to determine what happened, the man woke up and told his story: He’d been cleaning his tub in the nude, and while kneeling to scrub the drain, he didn’t realize that his swaying testicles had drawn the attention of his cat. The cat pounced, and the man jumped in pain…then hit his head on the tiles and knocked himself out.

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